Life Lessons by Frank J. Peter

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At the risk of sounding clever or trite, the meaning of life is to live a life that has meaning.
Nobody else, no matter how learned, experienced, clever, mature or wise, can tell you the meaning of your life. That's something you're going to have to work out for yourself.
Live every day like this life is the only one you've got, because this life probably is the only one you've got.
Life isn't fair. The good guys don't always win, the bad guys don't always lose, and bad things do happen to good people.
There are no answers in life, only choices. And even as the years go by, in full the light of retrospect, you still may never know if you've chosen wisely.
You become interesting only in those precious, burdensome moments when you decide that you have choices.
The first decision you need to make is which decisions belong to you and which decisions do not.
Everything you do, or not– casts a vote for what exists in the world, for better or worse.
Your humanity is measured not by what you think, and not by what you believe– but by what you do. And not just what you do, but also how you do it, and why you do it.
Don't believe every thought that you think, and don't believe every feeling that you feel.
A life of doing is superior to a life of having.
The best things in life aren't things at all, but things to enjoy, experience, discover, master, create, contribute, and share.
People and love are always the most important things in life, period.
Direct contact with a single brute fact in the real world will teach you more about life than all the philosophy ever written.
It's your job to let the universe know that you exist.
The moment you think the world owes you something, windows of opportunity slam shut all around you.
Distance yourself from possessions, people, and habits that are not food for your soul.
Who am I? Answering this question is never optional. No matter if and no matter how you ask the question. You answer it emphatically with everything you do, or fail to do, every single day.
Who am I? A question you should ask yourself each and every day with such sincerity curiosity intensity urgency that it hurts.
Reality is not the objective state of what is. Reality is the painful gap between what is, and how you wish things would be. (Reality is hunger, thirst, and exhaustion. Reality is sickness, disability, and death. Reality is a world full of injustice, exploitation, and violence. Reality is the humbling recognition of limitations, imperfections, and shortcomings. Reality is frustration, failure, disappointment, anxiety, regret, heartbreak, loneliness, unrequited love, and sorrow.)
Authentic faith requires that you do more than merely believe something. Authentic faith requires that you live every day as if that's something is true.
Our big mistakes in life are never errors in logic. They are moral errors. We mess up, not because we aren't smart enough, but because we are dishonest, petty, conceited, lazy, selfish, cowardly, and self-righteous.
Faithfulness to your own standards of right and wrong is the only thing that can bring you peace.
Wouldn't it be nice if happiness was a choice? Alas life is not that easy. No matter what form it takes, a gorgeous sunset, a warm hug, a cold beer, carefree play, feelings of contentment, a sense of gratitude, physical health, emotional well-being, freedom from want, freedom from fear, a job well done, a skill mastered, sincere friendship, a gift given, a gift received, justice restored, a wound healed, a promise kept, a mountain climbed, an intimate moment a joyous discovery, a clear conscience, an exciting prospect, mutual trust, a noble gesture, a pleasant memory, sexual ecstasy, peace of mind, or hope for the future. Happiness is elusive and fleeting exception, not the rule. Sometimes bestowed by good fortune, sometimes earned, but largely and ever at the mercy of circumstances beyond our control.
Life well-lived is not a scavenger hunt but a courageous act of creation.
Take nothing for granted. Not your possessions, not your health, not your family and friends. Any of these can be lost to you in a heartbeat, and you won’t truly appreciate what you really have or really want until it’s gone.
Except for a short list of fortuitous or unforeseen events that could launch or wrench your life into a new trajectory, your destiny is determined whether simple things you choose to do or choose not to do each and every day.
Be generous with your time, treasure, and talents. But do not give away your charity cheaply.
A convenient answer should always be challenged with more vigor and skepticism than an inconvenient answer.
Distance yourself from people you don't respect. Distance yourself from those who are petty, angry, dishonest, greedy, and vengeful. Distance yourself from whiners, critics, naysayers, cynics, hypocrites, know-it-alls, and moralizers. Distance yourself from anyone who tries to possess, constrain, or diminish you.
Surround yourself with doers, not talkers.
Don't waste your precious time and energy arguing with someone who has no interest in the truth.
Anyone who has more answers than questions is not curious enough, honest enough, or courageous enough to be your friend.
You are a teacher. It is not a role you can either accept or reject. You can only decide what you want others to learn by watching you.
If you want to know what you really believe, and which gods you really worship– you cannot trust what you think or say, but watching what you do is 100% reliable.
Obedience to authority is the least reliable way to know the truth. Direct experience is the most reliable way to know the truth.
Never accept anything anyone tells you without it putting to the test of love and logic for yourself.
You don't merely choose your values, you create them with everything you do or fail to do each and every day.
True love is a verb, not a mere sentiment.
Do something to feed your body, mind, and spirit every day, and don't be shy about sharing how much you've grown with others along the way.
Your identity, your significance, your humanity is defined not by what you have (or not) but by what you choose to do with what you have (or not).
The only person you need to explain your behavior to is you. For this reason, you will always be your toughest audience, and you will always be your most important and challenging project.
Having never chosen to be born, here you are. Inescapably condemned to freedom. Even a rejection of freedom is an exercise of freedom, is it not? And no authority, earthly or divine, can relieve you of this never-ending burden.
Freedom is a risk. And freedom is also at-risk, always. Forever suspended between hope and despair, living or dying, everything you do or fail to do.
Is is not merely enough to believe something. It is not even enough to believe in something. Freedom and dignity require that you stand for something.
Challenge your own beliefs and behaviors with even more vigor than you challenge the beliefs and behaviors of others.
The truth can never be discovered from a safe objective distance. Truths are many and can only be found in the real-life stories of our fellow human beings. We need to get to know each other.
We can all make a huge contribution to world peace and justice by having the uncommon wisdom and courage to listen first and talk second– if we even need to speak at all.
Just because someone interrupts your day with their anger, whining, pettiness, name-calling, and finger-pointing, does not mean that you have to respond to them.
The more visceral the need to defend your point of view, the more you should doubt your position.
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We can all make a huge contribution to world peace and justice by recognizing and admitting our profound ignorance on most matters.
The more you feel compelled to explain your motives to others, the more seriously you need to re-examine them so that you can honestly explain them to yourself.
Feelings of self-respect largely flow from the integrity, honesty, and courage to yes when you mean yes, and no when you mean no.
It takes uncommon courage and wisdom to build bridges while others are building walls.
Sentiments, beliefs and principles mean nothing unless they are transformed into meaningful action.
The only way to be somebody is to do something that matters. No matter how grand and no matter how humble.
The ability to direct your own attention is like a superpower in a world full of hypnotic distractions that are expertly designed to separate you from your mind, and heart, and hard-earned money.
If you do not direct your own attention, somebody else will direct it for you. You'd better hope they have honorable intentions.
You will never because you can never accomplish anything worthwhile without love, work, patience, and the willingness to suffer for it.
Truths are many, and are not typically pleasant or beautiful– welcome them anyway. Actively seek them out. Embrace them, even when they hurt. Allow them to dissolve all your fears, biases, and preconceptions.
Question everything– including and especially your own certainties.
Eat, drink, work, play, dress, speak, and spend your money with purpose and enjoyment– not ostentation!
If something is not getting done in your life, it's probably because you are not making it happen. Nobody loves you more than you do, and if you don't make it happen, who will?
Authentic gratitude is more than just a feeling. Authentic gratitude is a verb.
Use your time, treasure, and talents to connect with others, not to compete with them.
Be open-minded, be understanding, be kind, but also be ready to protect yourself from those who would reject and maybe ridicule even your goodwill.
Nobody loves you more than you do, so, if you don't ask for something, don't complain about not receiving it.
Pledge allegiance to nothing more than your innate conscience guided by one master principle– love yourself, love others.
The disappointment of having tried and failed hurts a bit, but that pain is nothing compared to the anguished regret of never having tried at all.
Cherish your small circle of family and friends. Sing, dance, laugh and cry together. Hug 'em and tell 'em you love 'em every chance you get.
Authentic power comes from being an authority, not from merely having authority.
You know you are a grown-up when your own imperfections bother you more than the imperfections of others.
It takes uncommon wisdom, humility, and courage to say yes to the small things that matter, and no to the big things that don't.
Beware anyone who suggests that suffering is just a self-inflicted illusion. Some suffering is quite real and your humanity is revealed by how you respond to that suffering– with compassion and courage, not detachment and denial.
It's okay to dig a few dry wells, make a few mistakes, and collect a few regrets along the way. It means you've taken the risk of being truly alive.
One of the greatest joys in life is to create something good, true, and beautiful that would not exist without you.
Every one of us is both an angel and a devil, so be quick to neither judge, nor forgive because none of us are 100% guilty but none of us are 100% innocent either.
Enjoy the beauty the universe has to offer without trying to possess it.
Never let anybody waste your time. If you let people waste your time it's not their fault, it's your fault.
You are only human, with only so much time and energy to give, and so you can never do everything you would like to do, and you will never be able to love everyone you want to love, or everyone who needs to be loved.
You become a person to the degree that you are a cause, not an effect. In other words, personhood is achieved by making something of yourself.
Adulthood begins the moment you stop looking for salvation and start being the salvation.
Every time you take something that does not belong to you, somebody, somewhere has to pay for it.
Educate yourself in the liberal arts and in the methods of science. Doing so will inoculate you from self-deception, as well as inoculate you from being deceived by others.
Procrastination is not necessarily a bad thing. Procrastination may be your heart telling you that you need to find something else to care about.
Never stop putting your own thoughts, beliefs, actions, and allegiances on trial.
You will not fully appreciate life until you realize that some existences really are fates far worse than death.
Wholeness as a human being is impossible to conceive without our connection with others, and especially in our significance to others.
Growing up is largely the humbling process of learning just how ignorant we are about almost everything.
True wealth is not measured by how much stuff you have. True wealth is the opportunity to pursue your own dreams, on your own terms.
We are all engulfed in a tangled web of rewards and punishments. Each one expertly designed to turn all of us into little more than trained animals, with no more freedom or dignity than Pavlov's salivating dogs or Skinner's pecking pigeons.
If you allow it, the market culture that engulfs you will replace your authentic dreams with materialistic ambitions, so be advised that diamonds are not a girl's best friend, and clothes do not make the man.
When in doubt, have the courage to trust– even at the risk of being betrayed and disappointed.
Your self-respect is always more important than what other people think of you.
Nobody loves you more than you do, so don't expect somebody else to act on your behalf if you are not willing to do the same on your own behalf.
Spend some time at the library in order to learn from those who came before you, but don't allow yourself to become bookish.
You do not have to vilify someone in order to disapprove of their behavior.
There is no greater measure of your humanity than the significance of the battles you choose to fight.
The only way that somebody else can fool you is to take advantage of your capacity to fool yourself.
Own your mistakes and make amends to those who have wronged, and if they choose to reject your olive branch, at least you've found peace in knowing that you tried.
Every time you engage in the vulgar habits of gossiping, finger-pointing, and name-calling, you teach everyone within earshot that it's okay to gossip, point fingers, and call people names.
You have more than the right to be somebody. You have more than the permission to be somebody. You have the sacred responsibility to be somebody.
The only real success is to become a better and more authentic version of you, not a superior version of somebody else.
Sometimes life happens fast– a time for abandon, trust, and courage. Sometimes life happens slow– a time for discipline, patience, and perseverance.
Sincere doubt is more than just a right. Sincere doubt is a sacred responsibility and the only thing that makes sincere belief even possible.
Nurture yourself with the same care and concern that you would raise your own scared, crazy, mixed-up child.
The humility and courage to say "I don't know", "I'm afraid", "I'm sorry", or "I need help", has the power to tear down so many invisible walls that divide us from each other.
You don't really own anything. Not your stuff, not your money, not your accomplishments, not your family and friends. In fact, even your own body does not belong to you and will abandon you eventually.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to quietly walk away from someone and allow the natural consequences of their actions to take their course.
A simple test for fairness– "is my life easy because somebody else's life is hard?"
You don't fail when you make a mistake, you fail when you give up trying. So please, don't give up– the world needs you to keep on trying.
Be the kind of person that gives other people something to believe in.
How can anybody complain that they are bored and have nothing to do in a world so full of strife, injustice, and natural evil?
Beware any authority, creed, or enterprise that would hold the adult in you to a lower standard than you would hold yourself.
It takes uncommon wisdom, humility, and courage to be the master of– not a slave to– your wealth, talents, and social standing.
You will make a huge contribution to world peace and justice by refusing to identify with any group that is "other than".
How can anybody be happy unless they are oblivious to– or indifferent to a world so full of suffering.
It is morally superior to understand someone who has wronged you than it is to merely forgive them. The problem though, is that some things really are unforgivable.
Given the chance, most people would rather use their power to do good. Have the courage to trust them and to give them that chance.
Just because someone in "authority" gives you permission to do something (or even if they command you to do something) doesn't mean that it's okay to do it.
When you behave badly, you give others a reason to lose faith, not just in you, but in the entire universe.
A life well lived is not the result of a self-serving cost/benefit analysis. A life well lived is the living expression of your most deeply held values.
Fill your life with adventures and experiences. Stop collecting things and start collecting memories, and stories that are worth telling.
It takes uncommon wisdom, humility, and courage to live above the fray. Above the fray of competition, contention, materialism, greed, corruption, vengeance, partisanship, patriotism, and religiosity.
How can we be so easily disappointed in others when we keep disappointing ourselves?
You are unlikely to find meaning, peace, or happiness in poverty, chastity, obedience, conformity, materialism, competition, monasticism, dominance, submission, self-indulgence, self-denial, compromise, pragmatism, or martyrdom.
Time is the most precious thing you have, and so your time is the most precious gift you can give to someone.
It is extremely stressful and exhausting to pretend to be something you are not.
We are all damaged children in one way or another. Alas, some of us are so damaged to be beyond the reach of all the love and care in the world.
It's easy to become self-righteous unless one has walked in the shoes of another, or at least walked with them for a while.
A life well-lived will challenge you with 1,000 reasons to become disillusioned and cynical. It may take all the guts you have to keep on caring in a world where greed, fear, and hate seem to be much stronger forces than love.
All claims of character are cheap unless they have been truly tested by hunger, thirst, fear, lust, grief, poverty, illness, betrayal, injustice, or violence. Even the good life will test you. How can anybody declare themselves virtuous in the absence of temptation?
The ultimate measure of your humanity is the triumph of your freedoms over your limitations.
Sometimes life is so hard that there is no good answer. Sometimes life is so vicious that there is no right answer.
Sometimes life is so unforgiving that no matter how sincere your regret or remorse, you do not get a second chance.
Sometimes life is so cruel, natural evils so indiscriminate, humans so inhumane, that there is no moral to the story.
Your moral autonomy is always a threat to the herd that surrounds you and a threat to the powers that be. So expect to be ostracized, and expect some backlash from above, but never stop believing in yourself. Know that you are on a righteous path of responsible freedom that most people never dare to tread.
The cynic and pessimist in you will never accomplish anything worthwhile.
Optimism, even if considered naïve, irrational, insane, or foolhardy by others, is absolutely essential to all human progress.
Willpower does not exist. The only way to stop doing things that are bad for you, and to start doing things that are good for you, is never a matter of superhuman self-control or self-denial, but of self-possession energized by one thing– clarity of purpose.
Don't underestimate how much power you have. Whether you elevate yourself to you highest ideals, or lower yourself to your animalistic drives, you take the whole universe along for the ride.
Even if the universe demands nothing from you, you can still demand something of yourself– and you can still demand something of yourself without demanding anything from the universe in return.
Certain secrets of the universe will be revealed to you only when you have the courage to leave the convenient, comfortable, safe, and predictable behind.
Easy decisions will continue to seem hard with each passing day that you continue to ignore your mortality.
Embrace your mortality. Not out of morbid fascination and dread, but as a boon to living. As motivation to reject the routine, the petty, the vulgar, and the trivial.
Human destiny is something that we can influence with our own minds, hearts, and hands. This recognition renders us all responsible to ourselves, to each other, and to eternity.
Aspire to live every day like you deserve to be alive.
Live your life with such gusto, audacity, passion, and courage that once is enough.
Immortality is not to be found in some supposed afterlife, but in every beautiful thing that will happen in some distant time and place because you were here.
What a precious gift and privilege it is to have the freedom, safety, health, and time to consider the meaning of your life, and the opportunity to live accordingly– even for just a little while.